a good day

Well, this is progress. Although backsliding perhaps as early as tomorrow, or even! in a few hours, we did enjoy two days of good times with Emelia. Now she is cranky and crying. But oh my overall, it's been fun.
The coo-talk is increasing, as are hours spent awake and engaging. Breast-feeding is working a bit better with the introduction of the nip-shield, and only one bottle so far today. At the moment, I think we are all just tired. Which one of us will get sleep? Perhaps none. Ma is wanting us to visit so very very badly within the next two weeks so she and Daddy can help out, but that's a 4.5-hour drive each way for relief. So many things to be done here before school starts, I don't know that this idea is a relaxing one. Tempting. Since D can't go, I have an even harder decision to make. Why take a vacation without him?

Another activity today: I met Erika in person of the ole Redshirtknitting. Good times, good lunch. I wish I had more sleep, so I could've been better at conversation, but I think Erika was understanding enough. Cool to meet an internet friend in person!

Oh, and my supreme bad, in that I forgot to mention the appearance of other friends lately. Our internet guild, SOK, had its annual camping trip two weeks ago, which prompted a lovely visit by Ms Murphy and Anne, in town via Seattle. Last weekend, Dan & Nancy were in town from Baltimore and I even went out to dinner with them and our buddy Goo at the ole Park Grill (whilst D worked = boo)! Another first for me, a "babysitter", who really is an awesome friend Cindy who is willing to feed and do diapers for us, enabled this act of fun. My next expectation (HUGE drum-roll here) is for BLEEN to arrive in July!

Oh, and before I forget, Wigs for Kids is going to get 12" of my hair. D and I went scissor-crazy and I am now a short-haired woman. Nutty! Going to ring in the 2-month mark for little E tomorrow with less baggage, hair-wise anyway.

Everyone cross yer legs and hope I start to get some sleep soon! No promises on it making me sound more ... normal.

ah yes, the cuteness requirement...

after a recent bath...omg why can't she always be like this?

Are we there yet?

Wow!
I went away from my little bloggette, only to return to a plethora of comments ... ok, 10 is HUGE for me.
I have to say thanks to the advice, some of which I've tried already and some of which I doubt I will. All appreciated regardless.
My husband and I sit here, lifeless, at week 7-almost-8. That's 2 months for the slow ones. No offense. Anyway, I was up til 5:30am last "night" with a cranky, irrational spawn. She had a nice evening after a lovely day, and then exploded stomach juice at about midnight. From there on, it was tragedy in many parts. My guess is that her tummy remained ill at ease, but man, can't she just let me sit down a minute? Nopers. The Hubs being exhausted just couldn't physically help with the walking, so it was me all night. I spent what little brain space I had imagining how much I would miss this quality time with her. Like when she's 13 and calling me a Whore or something lovely.
Hey, it got me through the night/day.

Today has been better, with the pediatrician's reluctant recommendation of trying a nipple shield. Ever see this? little silicone wrapper to confuse the confused into thinking my flesh is a bottle. Works about 75% of the time in the past 3 days. Just had a wonderful little nursing experience however, that she just suddenly disrupted with screams of agony that where was I? Why wasn't I feeding her? Why the flogging?
um.
So The Hubs pulled out the bottle and gave her more opportunity-to-puke-juice (boob milk in a bottle). We shall see how the night goes.

maybe I'll get around to writing about how cute she is, her burbles, her recent expression to grabbing things with desire instead of just by accident. I love her noises, her smiles, her coos. I love her feetses, her belly, her eyes that change color daily. I love the chance to see who she will be.

A New Beginning

Here she is, Emelia Marie!
Which means, obviously, that I didn't manage to write between week 20 and now...with her a month old already. Wow.

Having a kid is both awe inspiring and unreal. Which in some ways is all part of the same thing. Here I was, sitting around and doing nothing, while my body decided to keep working on this little piece of biology. She came out naturally, whoa and of course, and is here to stay. Her own little piece of reality, superimposed onto my life and my husband's.
Isn't she adorable? yeah, so who can come over and take her from 1am to 3am? Because that's when she sucks. Screams, inconsolably, typically every night. Sometimes, if we're lucky, it's just fussy time. Othertimes, it's horrid and longer. Yesterday was a nightmare, as I decided after a week off to reintroduce dairy. NOT a good idea. Can someone explain to me how the dairy proteins pass directly into the milk and irritate her tiny system? Because they do, yet it makes zero sense to me. From what I've read, lactose can be a problem even from the breastmilk itself. Wacky. Why would we evolve to be allergic to mother's milk?? As in many cases, the human body is just wacky says me.
So little miss here has a gas problem. We're not proud. If she, however, could master the power of the belch, man o man we'd be stylin! But no. Emelia here is a friggin LADY. Whodda thunk it? We congratulate her for every belch and fart, so we're doing our best to influence her to be more like her parents...whatever you do, say 'excuse me', and like a Catholic at confession it's all better.

What I think is the most amazing to me is the generosity a baby inspires in others. We have received gifts via internet friends (thanks Erika!), family, patient acquaintances, work associates, and our landlord. Grandparents alone are going to keep this girl clothed for the rest of her life...I am slowly getting used to pink burning my eyes (sorry Cookie). Financially, with me starting up school again in the fall, life is very interesting in these parts, but eve there I think we'll be ok. We don't have to buy her any clothes for 9 months, due to influx of gifts, so that helps too!

Emotionally, I have been a pain in the butt to all who know me. My friends (including my sister) and my dear husband have suffered my irrational crying and fears. My Bleen has been an all-day every-day companion via IM, aiding me in my sanity. Poor girl. hope that one day I can help another mother at least half as much as my circle has been helping me. I know that being a mom is what I always wanted, like forever and ever, but right now, I feel lost.
Perhaps soon things will settle in and begin to make a smidgen of sense. I want to love this life, find the "shiny" so to speak, in motherhood.
And so can it begin? well, for now, another feeding time begins anyway!!

So there are birds, bees, cats, trees, and...

I'm all pregnant!
This is exciting and scary, and of course I'm the first person *ever* to be knocked up. uh huh. Tempting to feel that way, though, like it's my little secret. At 15 weeks today (methinks) I'm still not showing. Just the same little fat belly that was there to begin with.
Charming.

The cats are surely going to be surly. Ha! After all, Kudra will lose precious lap time and will have to take her heat elsewhere. Perhaps I'll knit more?

It was awesomesauce to hear the fetal heartbeat at the midwives' office on Thursday. D was ecstatic at the cool ass rhythm. I was happy to have tapas afterwords. Quite cool. Now to break up with the gyn and commit solely to one office of people that seem to care. THAT is something worth getting excited about too.

At Target, just saw these eco-friendly diapers and products. So happy that Target is reaching out and trying to present alternatives. They are called Nature Baby Care by some Swedish broad, and I hope to find out more about them, since they really don't seem much more expensive than the other crap out there. I was toying with the idea of cloth diapers, but without an in-home laundry that is crazy. This would soothe my tortured soul a bit. Just a bit. But having a kid is anti-ecofriendly in all aspects. Another human! teh horrah!

Ok, just had a mite of lunch. Time to nap? Fer sure. Maybe I'll post again before the kid is spawned. In between, I should knit something. Something cute...

Obviously I am HUGE writer.

Been playing more of the WoW, chatting up long lost friends and newer ones, camping (yay!), biking, and seeing more of my lovely husband.

Blog against sexism

http://www.takingplace.org/blog-against-sexism-day

just a thought...