does bouncing count?

Ok she can't reach the ground in it yet, but how cute is this??


and now, for your entertainment, Grandma shots.
<-- my mom
<-- D's mom (having her arthritis worked on)

a quickie

huh. Must be something I ate.


Just passing time while the mother-in-law naps (with her shoes on, propped up on my couch--no real harm but eh?), the baby naps on my lap (finally, with nip in mouth), and hubs runs to the store (to make us dinner on his day off). It's raining, sticky, and I could use a nap as well. However, it's a strong *finally* that E is sleeping. Just not wanting to do it, but remaining cranky sauce. ugh.
<-- from earlier this week

The difference between having my own Ma here and the MIL is strange. I guess you could sum it up by with one, the time passes so quickly, but with the other it is draaaaaaaaaaaaagging by. I rarely have a beer before 2pm now, but there it went. Trying to avoid conversation that bugs me, or her, or D can make for a difficult afternoon. Nothing really wrong and it's nice to finally have "Nana" meet her granddaughter. It's the stories that get me. Long, detailed stories about people and places that she hasn't been. The desperation (not the word? craving?) to be liked by her own children is hard to swallow after a while. When she just relaxes and shares personal thoughts, it's nice enough and I can enjoy her company.

...but it's only 4pm? Really?

safety first

As I've ranted, I am to go back to school with teh kids in a few weeks. For the program, we have to have our immunization records, pre-req's done, registration complete, HepB vaccination, and CPR/BLS (basic life support). Oh, and roughly $30 grand...

Today was a step in checking off that list. With the help of my sister to watch Emelia after D went to work, I went to a 3 hour CPR/BLS training conveniently located down the street a couple miles. 9am is really early when you're not used to it anymore, a hilarious fact after working at 7am downtown for 4 years. I roused myself, fed the kid, showered quickly, changed the kid's pantaloons, made coffee (sweet sweet coffee), pumped, fed the kid again, kissed my snoring hubs, and went. Note to self: this will be on repeat soon, so get used to it.

Got there and it was pretty typical, long ugly brown tables, metal padded chairs, half-dummies, random people. What was shocking was the huge woman leading the thing, and I swear she could double for the Bears' linebacker. Definitely female, and definitely glad she's on my side. Anyway, I assume from what she said she's a paramedic and I could see her as a Fireman (person? woman?). She had berated a woman who brought her 10 year old, like we're discussing something sekkrit and pr0n-ish, and said "you wouldn't bring her to work, would you??" Well, lady, I took CPR the first time when I started babysitting at 11, so chill. I was glad to see her getting over herself an incorporating this whip-smart girl into the entire session. How much you wanna bet she ends up using this knowledge someday? Her illicit exposure to the workings of life safety being what saves lives. ha.

Getting around to a reason for sharing this, I was surprised how I was scared all of a sudden. The instructor plopped down this baby mannequin in front of me for the infant safety and all I could see was Emelia. I just quietly cried, and tried extra hard to pay attention.

And I thought: this should be taught for free to all new mothers, fathers, caregivers. Who knows what basic safety could do for those little ones in our lives?
When I came home, I just held her so close. So close.

my tribe

mmm hands are soooooooo tasty.

Today was planned to be a sister hang-out day, but unfortunately my sis got slapped with a bug and is at home feeling like a hairball. Or something. So! I was left to entertain me and the wee spawn. D went to work a bit earlier than usual in the hopes to get home before 10pm, and E was all sleepy and out at 10.30 am. Huh. Sleeping kid, no poo in sight, means...Mama needs to get outta dodge!

In the hopes of finding some of Abbey Brown wonderful soaps, we went to the Green City Market off of Clark. Walked about 42 blocks from our parking spot to find...no soap? A lady at the info was kind enough to say in a snap: "THEY aren't invited back since THEY don't do food." well, surprise! It is 40% olive oil, I was tempted to retort. Didn't. I'm lame. We just meandered around, picked up some veg, and I got to change E under a tree on the grass. oooh a new texture for her, and she kept grabbing up handfuls. REALLY should get out more, note to self. E needs to roll around on the pre-hay, if I can find more poo, plastic, and hypodermic-free patches in the near future. She liked it and cooed over at the other babies on a nearby blanket, but they were too Lincoln-park baby for her and just stared. Eh, prolly jealous of her cuteness. nyah.

In the search for the soap, I realized I could go and continue on up Lincoln via coche to Be By Baby (have I mentioned them before?) since I noticed they sell it too. Found a free parking spot again (two today means my karma is up for a month) and stayed for a bit chatting with one of the owners, Courtney. She helped me with my sling, as I seem to keep forgetting how to make it comfy, even after all that hands-on with Auntie Bleen I still suck. She was wearing her 4 week old boy Noah in a Mei Tai. Purrr. (Me want. Still. But the sling is so cool, do we want/need another??? I don't care for our Bjorn enough, and this would work for us both).

So back to today's title, in an attempt for a theme. Courtney (above) and I were talking about many things from colicky to nursing habits to nanny/sitters. It was so nice to talk with another local mama with a similarly-aged baby. One of the things that rolled around was how isolating it can be as a new mom. Thus why she is back at work already, and why they created their store in the first place. Coming back to the whole concept of how mothering is not meant to be done by one woman in one home all by herself with spouse. Rather, the happiest times are with other mothers/women, chatting and sharing the cooking, cleaning, raising. The fact that yes, I go to school soon and yes, I hope to have a good friend watching Miss E, is a comfort. However, I feel so distraught half the time that a good percentage of my closest females are in other states.

I have bonded with women over the powers of the internet, and that is how I keep in touch with so many, but I need "my tribe" as Courtney put it. The women nearby to bond with and share. This is so reflective of a conversation I had with Bleen during her visit, and it hit a note in me. I hope to make it to an Attachment Parenting group next month, which will sadly be the only one I'll make it to. But she mentioned it's a good group, and a way that I can hope to connect with some women here.

I really hope it is so. I've kinda half-assed done this search before, going to one sole LLL meeting in Evanston, but my fear that I won't be able to make the connection is keeping me away. Silly. School isn't every minute, and I may still need to go ahead and go to an occasional meeting even in my spare spare time. Especially since my time is limited with E for a while, I should plan activities that involve her too. Let's see how this pans out.

In other news: E rolled over last night while fighting sleep! The attempt she made before is complete, and enjoyed by both her daddy and I. She went from back to front, I think. I was kinda tired...it could have been the other way. What's important is her increased mobility, right? Today she also connected with the Baby Einstein toy that she has, and both grabbed at it and laughed at it. So cute. Perfect for entertaining her Grams on their upcoming visits (Gram S. this weekend, Nana J. next Wednesday).

Cats, be wary. She's comin' for you!

boredom is okay

Today, I'm bored.

This is funny, as I really have no reason to. There's this little life, totally dependent on me while D is away working long hours. She's engaging and cute and growing and, well, she's my everything.

So why am I bored?
I had a close friend, Eva, stop by today and bring lunch.
We chatted, caught up, played with E, and ate some yummy food. Emelia even attempted a roll over from stomach to back for Eva, which was quite exciting.

So why am I bored?

E had about 4 poopy diapers, some laughs, bonked her head (yesterday was #1 on D's desk, today I did it getting out the car seat). No real screams, some adorable yawns. <-- yesterday we all played WoW for a while. E likes the action.

I think the boredom is more of a frame of mind. I KNOW that in just one month my life is changing again. I have been in this apartment a vast majority of my hours since March 1. I have been joined by this thriving joy since April 24. I've gotten used to change change and anticipation of change. So as I'm gathering my things for school, getting books delivered, getting vaccination test/results, I am realizing that I'm getting a pattern. We sleep most of the night, E wakes up all smiley, D goes off to work forever hours, and I change about 20 diapers. This is a pattern.

In other words, things are going great!! I have the smiles I ordered, the sleep I desired, and our health as a family. Bills are paid, Obama is making more positive press, no snow on the ground, and friends/family come to visit. Life is good.

I guess that is what boredom is! It's really just reaching the state of non-stress for a minute. A pause in the hectic hubabubba of things. Time to reflect and to nap and to dream. Maybe I just need to challenge myself and dream a little more, worry a little less (always a good idea over here), and accept that I am actually HAPPY. huh.
shh! don't tell!

definition of shiny

This past weekend was a wonderful one. My dear Bleen came to light up our lives for a few days, and it was great, see her post for some pics! We mostly just chatted and walked, and had dinner with our friend Goo and his friend Andrias down at Park Grill Saturday. This was mostly so we could see D and include him a little in our evening. Sous chef hours stink, let that be known.

I'm definitely getting more used to the Maya sling for carrying Emelia around. As a matter of fact, she is sleeping in it right now. For whatever reason, E didn't poo from Friday night until last night, and when she did omg it was a doozy. She didn't seem uncomfortable, but she was laughing her butt off at the success of blow-out! E kicked all last night, and then did the poo-assplosion two more times again this morning. Therefore, she is now cranky and exhausted. Tough work! The sling lets her be in my arms, but let my arms be doing something else. I have a lot to do.

There are 5 more weeks remaining until my life changes. That is not quite fair, OUR life is going to change. Never again will I be able to sit around all day without any worries or plans, as from here on out, I will be in school then working. Hopefully, the universe allows that I can work part time until E goes to school. This is a goal that I hope to fulfill. OT is such an enriching field with so many opportunities, that yes, I am excited to start school and get into my next stage in life. This is it, no more school, so as of July 2010 I hope to just go onward. Well, unless I do decide to get a PhD so I can teach...also a desire of mine.

Books are trickling in, and I can't say enough about how good an experience it has been to use the discounted sellers through Amazon. Well, so far so good. A few more are left to come. Wish I trusted it enough in the past, as we saved over $100 doing it this way.

Time to get some things done, and see what new things E discovers in life today!

rain and chuckles

As far as I know, yesterday was Emelia's first real chuckle. It was hilarious, we were giving her a bath -- Daddy and I -- and she just let it out! Water was going over her head, and I guess it was just teh best evah!

Then the night became less cute, as E didn't really want to go to bed. This week, she's been a tad extra cranky, eating intermittently and pooing like a champ. By "champ" I mean omg.

I blame the heat. I want more chuckles! Luckily, as overall E is a happy one, I think there are more in our future together. If only she would quit squiggling at night so her mommy can sleep...

Today, we went for a walk and train ride to visit Miss Libby and her two kids. Libby will be watching E while I'm in school full time (coming up, do you hear the clock ticking down?). Not too bad of a commute, given that the train is caught in time on this end. Still not sure how we're going to juggle that one, roughly 3 days a week. At least I know that she'll be in safe hands, and getting acclimated to other kids as well. Coming home, we got hit by the rain. "We" means me, as E was happy and dry in her stroller! sigh.

Tomorrow: Bleen!!